When in Need
by steffenyp
Summary: When one of his team members is brutally attacked, Horatio answers her call for help and stays by her said through everything.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: When in Need **

**Author: Leandrastar2000 **

**Rating: M (for later chapters in case I decide to go in an M direction with this story)**

**Relationship: Horatio Caine/Original Female Character**

**Warnings: This story does contain references to rape. Also, if you like the character of John Hagen you may not want to read this story because he is not a nice guy in this one.**

**Summary: When one of his team is brutally attacked, Horatio comes to the rescue and stays by their side through it all.**

My name is Alexia Twofeathers and I have been working at the Miami Dade Crime Lab for almost two years. I worked my way from the trace lab to a field agent during that time working with the best criminalistics team in the county. Horatio Caine, Calleigh Duquesne, Eric Delko and Ryan Wolfe had all made me feel welcome and a part of the team from the very beginning. I had become friends with them all, but especially with Horatio. Horatio and I seemed to share a second sense toward one another and worked well together on cases.

I was attracted to my red headed Lieutenant, but I was afraid to say anything or let anything show for fear of rejection. I did not want to lose his friendship by showing my feelings and not having them returned. So, I learned to live with just being friends and when Detective John Hagen asked me out to dinner, I accepted thinking that at least I knew he was interested in trying to have a romantic relationship.

The first few dates with John went great; he was attentive and sweet and treated me like a lady. Then, on our fourth date, he began to show a different side of himself. He became jealous at the slightest provocation and his words would sometimes be hurtful. Even my speaking about the male members of my team would set him off and I would have to reassure him that they were all merely my friends and nothing more.

As the months passed, he became more and more possessive and jealous and then the night came that would change things forever. We had been dating for six months and I hadn't seen or talked to John all day that day and we had not made plans for a date that night, so I was planning a quiet night at home with my family, but needed a ride home because the Hummer I normally drove had gone in that morning for a routine maintenance check and would not be returned to me until the next day.

I had tried several of my family members to see if any of them could pick me up, but no one was answering their phones. I snapped my cell phone shut in frustration and asked the desk Sargent for a phone book to look for a cab service I could call when Horatio walked up.

"Is there a problem?" he asked.

"No, just can't get any of my bunch to pick up their phones and my Hummer is in for maintenance. I'll just call a cab," I answered and I knew the frustration came through in my voice.

"You don't have to call a cab, I can give you a lift home," Horatio said.

"Oh, I don't want to be any trouble, I don't mind taking a cab," I told him.

"You aren't any trouble Lexi. What are friends for if not to help each other out," Horatio said with a small smile.

"Well, in that case, I'll take you up on your generous offer," I told him and we walked to the elevator.

When we got to the outside door, Horatio held the door open for me and I ran right into John.

"Well now, where are you two off to in such a hurry," John said his eyes narrowing at me and I swallowed hard. John knew that I rode to crime scenes with Horatio sometimes and he never liked it. I always got an ear full when this would occur.

"Horatio offered to give me a lift home because my Hummer went in for maintenance this morning," I stammered and I saw Horatio give me a questioning look.

"I was just coming to find you hoping we could have some dinner and go to that new retro drive-in movie place that just opened," John said eyeing Horatio like a piranha.

"That sounds nice John," I replied and then turned to Horatio. "Thanks for offering to give me a lift home," I told him and tried to keep my voice even because I knew I was in for a verbal lashing once John and I were alone.

"Anytime Lexi, it's not a problem. I hope you have a good time and I'll see you tomorrow," Horatio said staring at John from behind his sunglasses for a moment.

"See you tomorrow," I answered and turned and walked away with John.

"He's being a little more friendly than your Lieutenant should be, don't you think?" John asked once we were alone in his car.

"He was just being nice John, that's all," I replied.

"I think he's being a little too nice and I don't like him offering to take you home," John said, his voice low with warning. "If you need a ride you call me and only me," he growled.

I didn't say another word on the subject because I knew that it would only make the situation worse.

"I'm gonna call my folks and let them know where I am so they don't worry, "I said and he nodded his okay like I needed his approval.

I called my Grandmother and told her I wouldn't be home until later. We had a nice dinner and John was fairly civil through the whole thing, but his reaction to Horatio's innocent offer to take me home had made me realize I needed to break if off with him before things became any more complicated. I couldn't concentrate on the movie we went to and John seemed preoccupied as well.

"John, I think we need to talk," I finally said and he turned to look at me.

"What is it?" he asked his voice gruff.

"I don't think things are working out between us John. I think we need to see other people," I told him and quickly realized I had chosen the wrong place to tell him this.

"You think we should see other people huh, let me guess Horatio, right, well I don't think so, you belong to me," he growled.

"I don't belong to anyone," I started to say and he jerked me against him cutting off my words by bringing his mouth down roughly on mine.

I pushed at his chest trying to get away from him, but he was too strong.

"John, please stop," I pleaded when he moved his mouth from mine to my neck biting down and his hands began to roam.

"You do belong to me and you are not going to see anyone else but me," he growled in my ear as he began to undo my clothing.

"John, no, please, you know I can't and I don't want to. Please John stop this," I pleaded and got a slap across the face for my trouble.

"Shut up," he told me and I began to struggle under his onslaught.

I began to panic now as he continued to tug at my clothing and when I would manage to get away from him enough to get some leverage, he would hit me in the ribs or stomach or slap me across the face. I struggled and I fought, but he was stronger and heavier than me and he took what he wanted. When he was done he sat back in the seat as though nothing had happened, leaving me to put myself back together.

"Please take me home," I whispered and he looked over at me as though surprised I was still there.

He didn't say anything, simply started the car and drove off. He dropped me in front of my house as he always did and drove away. I stood for several minutes, tears streaming down my face, trying to figure out what I should do. I knew I had to report him, but the thought of telling anybody what had happened was humiliating. I should have broken things off with him a long time ago.

Not even really knowing what I was doing, I started walking and ended up at a park not too far from my house. I sat gingerly down on a bench and pulled my cell phone from my purse and dialed automatically.

"Horatio Caine," the voice on the other end of the line answered and for a moment my own voice froze up on me.

"Hello is anyone there," Horatio said.

"Horatio," I managed to croak out from a dry throat.

"Lexi, is that you?" he asked.

"Yes, Horatio please come get me," I whispered back my heart racing.

"Okay sweetheart, tell me where you are."

"I, I'm at Rosewood Park," I told him.

"Okay sweetheart, hang on, I'll be right there," he said and I heard him shut off his phone.

I shut my own phone and put it back in my purse and leaned back to wait. I hissed in pain as my back came in contact with the back of the bench and I leaned slightly forward again. As I waited I began to berate myself for not getting out of my relationship with Hagen before now. How could I have let it get this far. Tears were streaming down my face and I wrapped my arms around my stomach feeling nauseous.

"Lexi!" I heard Horatio call.

"Over here," I managed to call back and then I saw him come around the corner.

When he saw me, he stopped for a moment and stared then he started toward me once more.

"What happened?" he said softly and knelt down in front of me.

At his soft voice I lost all the control I had managed to keep to that point and the sobs started.

"Tell me what happened Lexi, who did this to you?" Horatio said gently lifting my chin so that I would look at him. The compassion in his eyes was genuine and I felt safe with him.

"He raped me Horatio," I whispered sobbing even harder, my vision so blurred from the tears that I could barely see his face.

"Who raped you sweetheart?" he asked his voice deadly serious now, but I knew it was toward my attacker and not me.

"John Hagen," I told him.

"Hagen raped you?" he asked and I knew he wanted to be perfectly clear about what I was telling him before he took the next step.

"Yes," I whispered and he nodded his head and pulled out his phone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

When his phone rang at 10:00 p.m. that night Horatio didn't think much about it, figuring it was a call out. When he looked down at the display screen and saw that it was Lexi, his heart rate picked up. Lexi was one of his team and he valued her friendship greatly. He was attracted to her, had been from the beginning, but he didn't want to jeopardize their friendship. He treasured their friendship and the more he got to know Lexi the more attracted to her he became. Each day was a struggle to keep from telling her how he felt. However, the thought of losing her friendship kept him in check.

She seemed to understand him better than any of his other team members, but they hadn't spoken much outside of work since she had started dating John Hagen six months earlier. Seeing her name now displayed on his phone sent a stream of worry through his mind.

"Horatio Caine," he said after hitting the talk button. No one answered but he could hear breathing on the other end of the line.

"Hello, is anyone there," he said once again

"Horatio," a soft voice spoke and Horatio knew from the sound that something was definitely wrong.

"Lexi is that you?" he asked.

"Yes, Horatio please come get me," she said and his heart skipped a beat at the defeated sound in her voice.

"Okay sweetheart, tell me where you are," he answered trying to remain calm.

"I, I'm at Rosewood Park," she told him and he wondered why she wanted him to pick her up when she was only a couple of blocks from her house, but he wasn't about to question her not with the obvious fear he could hear in her voice.

"Okay sweetheart, hang on, I'll be right there," he said and shut off his phone.

Horatio grabbed his jacket and raced to his Hummer not wanting to keep her waiting any longer than he had to. As soon as he was on his way he flipped on his blue lights and broke the speed limit getting to Rosewood Park. When he arrived he couldn't immediately see her and he got out and walked around a clump of bushes near the road.

"Lexi!" he called out and waited.

"Over here," he heard her answer and rounded the corner to see her sitting on a bench beside the playground.

When she looked up at him, what he saw stopped him in his tracks. He could see her pretty clearly from the light from the street lamp nearby and as she turned her face to look at him he could see that her right eye was black and swollen and her lip was split. Looking closer he could see marks on her neck and arms as well. Cursing softly under his breath, he slowly started toward her.

"What happened?" he asked her softly kneeling down in front of her.

To his shock, she began to sob uncontrollably and he didn't know if he would be able to get her to answer his question.

"Tell me what happened Lexi, who did this to you?" he said gently lifting her chin so she would look at him. He could see her calm a little and he felt a little relief but also anger building toward the person who had done this to her. He had a pretty good idea who had but he needed her to confirm his suspicion.

"He raped me Horatio," she whispered and his blood went cold. He had been angry when he thought she had been beaten, but to hear her say she had been raped made his blood boil.

"Who raped you sweetheart?" he asked his voice deadly serious now, but he tried to stay calm for her sake.

"John Hagen," she told him and it took every ounce of control he had not to jump up and go kill the man right then, but he knew that what mattered most right now was taking care of Lexi.

"Hagen raped you?" he asked wanting to make absolutely sure that he was hearing her correctly before he made his next step.

"Yes," she said and he nodded his head and pulled out his phone and called Frank Tripp.

"Tripp here," Frank answered after the second ring.

"Hey Frank," Horatio said.

"Hey H, what's up?" Frank said his voice chipper.

"Frank I need you to take a patrol car over to John Hagen's and arrest him," Horatio told his friend.

"Arrest him, for what?" Frank asked his voice puzzled now.

"For assault and battery and rape," Horatio answered.

"What, of whom?" Frank said and Horatio could hear the astonishment in his voice.

"Lexi called me about ten minutes ago Frank and asked me to pick her up at Rosewood Park. When I got here, I found that she had been beaten and when I asked her what happened she told me that she had been raped as well. When I asked her who did this to her, she told me John Hagen. I asked her twice Frank and she said the same thing."

"That son of a bitch, I'm on it H. We'll pick him up," Frank said.

"I couldn't agree more, thanks Frank," Horatio said and hung up. His next call was to Alexx whom he asked to meet them at the hospital, telling her he would explain everything when they got there. When he finished speaking with Alexx he turned back to Lexi.

"Come on sweetheart, let's get you to the hospital. Alexx is meeting us there," he spoke softly and extended his hand toward her not wanting to touch her without her permission. She reached out and took his hand and he helped her to her feet and started to lead her to the Hummer.

They had only taken a few steps when she stumbled and nearly fell. He wrapped his arm around her waist to steady her and she groaned in pain. That was when Horatio realized she probably had some bruised ribs as well. Gently he helped her to the Hummer and fastened her into the passenger seat. He went around and got behind the wheel. This time he not only used the blue lights but the siren as well and broke the speed limit to get her to the hospital quickly. When he pulled into the emergency entrance, Alexx was waiting for them.

"Oh, my god, Horatio what happened to her?" Alexx asked as she helped him get Lexi out of the Hummer. He told her what Lexi had told him and they rushed her inside to an exam room where Alexx took charge of collecting the evidence from Lexi.

Horatio paced the floor outside the exam room as he waited impatiently for Alexx and the ER doctor to determine the extent of Lexi's injuries. Finally Alexx came out and walked over to Horatio.

"How is she Alexx?" Horatio asked.

"Physically she will be fine Horatio, emotionally she is going to have a long road ahead of her," Alexx answered him.

"How bad are her injuries Alexx?" he asked.

"Our poor baby has been through a really bad night Horatio. She has a mild concussion I would say from being slapped. Also, she has several ribs that are bruised and bruises along her hip bones that look like he used his legs to hold her down. She also has what look like bite marks on her neck and bruises around her wrists. He was brutal Horatio. She didn't have a chance, not with his size working against her. Even with her training there was no way she could have gotten away from him with the amount of force he was obviously putting into his attack. I'd say he had her overpowered before she even realized what his intentions were."

"What about the SARC kit, did you find any evidence or did he use a condom?" he asked his voice full of malice.

"We found plenty of DNA Horatio, and other physical evidence as well. There is no way he is going to be able to claim this was consensual or someone else. There is too much evidence to suggest otherwise," Alexx answered.

"Good! Alexx, I want you to hand deliver the evidence to the lab and stay with it until everything is confirmed. I don't want there to be any possibility of the bastard getting away with this."

"I will Horatio, don't worry."

"Can I see her?" he asked.

"Sure baby, but she is sedated she may or may not be awake."

"I understand, I just want to sit with her for a while."

Alex nodded, knowing that Horatio had deeper feelings for Lexi than he let on and went to collect the evidence to transport to the lab, leaving Horatio to see to Lexi.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: Posted two chapters in a row today, I have a few more written, but I would really like to get some feed back before I post more. Opinions, criticism, suggestions all welcome. If you read and like please recommend to others, reviews are like candy to me :)**

**Chapter 3**

I was greatly appreciative to Alexx for being with me while the evidence of my attack was collected, but I was also grateful when it was finished. The ER doctor gave me a sedative to help calm my nerves, but I really did not want to go to sleep because I knew I would dream about the attack. However, despite my best efforts, between the pain medication and the sedative, I dosed off.

Just as I had feared, it didn't take long for the dream to come. Though I knew it was a dream, I still felt as though I was right back under Hagen's control. Just as I had during the real attack, I began to struggle trying to get away and just like the real attack I couldn't.

When Horatio walked into Lexi's room, she was asleep, but not peacefully so. She was thrashing around in the bed and he had no doubts she was dreaming of her attack. Slowly he walked over to her.

"Lexi," he called her name but she continued to struggle.

"Lexi," he said again this time louder and he reached out and touched her shoulder.

"No, please don't," she cried out and sat straight up in the bed, fear lacing her voice.

"Lexi, it's okay, you're safe now," he said to her, her anguish breaking his heart.

"Horatio?" she said looking around in confusion not fully awake yet and he stepped closer to the bed so she could see him better.

"I'm here sweetheart, I'm right here," he said softly and her eyes locked on his.

"Horatio, where am I?" she asked her voice shaky and he could still see confusion in her beautiful dark eyes.

"You're at the hospital sweetheart, we met Alexx here after I picked you up from the park, remember?"

"Th… That's right," she said and lay back down in the bed.

"How do you feel?" he asked her as he pulled a chair up close to her bed and sat down.

"Sore," she answered softly.

"I'm so sorry this happened to you sweetheart," he told her as his phone rang.

"Horatio Caine," he said after taking his phone from his pocket.

"Hey H, its Frank. I just wanted to let you know that we have Hagen in custody."

"Did he give you any trouble?"

"Just the usual crap, that he didn't do anything wrong and the sex was consensual."

"That's a bunch of bull shit Frank."

"You don't have to convince me H."

"So, he's at the PD now."

"That's right."

"Okay, thanks Frank I'm going to call Eric and Ryan and have them put a rush on processing the evidence. I want this case air tight before morning."

"I hear you H, give me a call if you need anything else."

"Could you stay there and supervise Hagen's processing," Horatio asked his friend.

"Not a problem, I'd be happy to. I want him behind bars as much as you do."

"Thanks again Frank, I'll talk to you later," Horatio finished and put his phone back in his pocket.

Lexi was looking at him in question and he didn't keep her waiting for an answer.

"Hagen's at PD, and he won't be getting out anytime soon," he told her and she breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thank you for coming to get me at the park," she whispered. "I didn't know what to do. He just dropped me off in front of my house like it had been any other date and I knew I couldn't go inside looking the way I do. So, I walked to the park and automatically dialed your number.

"I'm glad you did Lexi, I wouldn't have wanted you to call anyone else," he said and saw panic shoot through her eyes. "Hey, what is it, what's wrong?" he asked and she closed her eyes and took a deep breath before she answered.

"I know you didn't mean that the way it sounded, but John said something similar to me earlier in the night," she whispered.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, what did he say that was similar."

"When I told him you were just being nice when you offered to give me a ride home tonight, he said he didn't like it that you had asked and that if I needed a ride home I was to call him and only him," I answered and looked down.

"You're right Lexi, I didn't mean those words the way they sounded. I just meant that I am glad you called me. I'll always be there for you if you need me, but it is always your choice," Horatio said his voice gentle.

"Thanks, I appreciate that. I called you because I knew I could trust you and that I would be safe with you," I told him.

"You're always safe with me," he replied and for a long moment we were silent and then a thought occurred to me.

"Horatio did anyone contact my family?" I asked.

My family was very close, in fact my Grandmother, Father, My father's brother and his wife and kids and my two sisters all shared the same large house. Each of us had our own private areas, but the common areas we shared. My Grandfather and Mother had lived with us as well until they had both passed away from illness. We were very close and so I knew that they would be very worried about me by this time of night.

"I contacted them after we got to the hospital," he answered. "I only told them that you had been injured and were at the hospital being checked out. I spoke to your Father and told him I would call and let them know when they could come see you."

"I really don't want to tell them what happened," I whispered.

"Lexi, it would be better if you tell them. You know with Hagen's arrest this is going to be all over the news and it would be less of a shock coming from you rather than hearing it on the news," he told me.

"You're right I know, but that doesn't make it any easier," I answered.

"I know sweetheart, do you want me to call and let them know they can come now," he asked. I nodded my consent and he took out his phone and dialed.

"Mr. Twofeathers, this is Horatio Caine. I am at the hospital with Alexia and she asked me to call and let you know that it is all right for you to come and see her now," Horatio said into the phone and then paused to listen.

"Yes sir, she is going to be just fine. She is in room 364. We'll see you in a few minutes."

"Horatio," I whispered when he had shut his phone and I continued when he turned to look at me. "Would you tell them what happened?" I asked letting my head drop in shame at being too big of a coward to tell my family what had happened to me.

"Sweetheart, you know they're going to understand," he told me.

"I know, I just don't know if I'm strong enough to go through it all again right now," I answered him.

"All right then, I'll tell them for you."

He had no more gotten the words out of his mouth than my Father, his brother and his brother's wife came bursting through the door. My Aunt came right over to the bed and flung herself at me, wrapping her arms around me.

"Oh Lex, what happened baby?" she cried out when she backed off and took a good look at me.

I couldn't help but cringe at her touch and I looked at Horatio, my eyes pleading for him to do something. I loved my Aunt, but I didn't want to be touched that intimately right now.

"Mrs. Twofeathers, could you please take a step back away from the bed?" Horatio asked softly and my Aunt glared at him.

"Just who do you think you are that you can tell me what to do," she asked him.

"I'm the man Lexi called for help when she was attacked," Horatio answered his voice full of steel as he stepped closer to my bed and I reached out for his hand. He threaded his fingers with mine and stared my Aunt down.

"Ella back off," my Father said and she did.

My father then locked gazes with Horatio for a moment, the two men exchanging a meaningful look and then my Father turned to me.

"What happened to you little feather?" he asked using my childhood nickname.

"Mr. Twofeathers, Lexi has asked me to explain things to you because she doesn't feel strong enough to go through it all again right now," Horatio answered for me and I nodded to my Father to let him know this statement was true.

"All right," my Father said and he and my Aunt and Uncle headed for the door.

Horatio started to follow them, but I wouldn't let go of his hand and he looked back at me in question.

"Please come back when you're done," I said.

"I was planning to sweetheart," he answered with a smile and I let go of his hand so he could follow my family into the hall.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

As soon as he shut the door of Lexi's room behind him, Ella Twofeathers let him know of her displeasure with him.

"How dare you tell me to get away from my niece," she huffed at Horatio, her Native American heritage shinning intensely from her eyes. Horatio had no doubt that she would have loved to scalp him at that moment, but merely raised an eyebrow in her direction.

Lexi's Father snapped off a sentence in their native tongue and Ella backed off as Horatio turned his attention to her brother-in-law.

"Please tell us what happened to Alexia," Daniel Twofeathers said to Horatio, his dark eyes full of apology for his sister-in-law's behavior.

"Well Mr. Twofeathers…" Horatio began and the older man stopped him by holding up his hand.

"Please Lieutenant, I think we are way past formalities here, please call me Daniel. This is my younger brother Nathan and of course you've already gotten acquainted with his wife Ella. Please understand Lieutenant that we are very concerned for Alexia and emotions are running high."

"I do understand Daniel and please call me Horatio. I think when I explain what happened you'll understand why I asked Ella to back off earlier. You can of course see most of the physical effects of Lexi's attack, but you can't see the emotional trauma. Ella the reason I asked you to back off is because I saw Lexi cringe when you hugged her and she had panic in her eyes when she looked over at me. She can't stand to be touched that intimately right now. You see, she wasn't just beaten, she was also raped."

"Oh my lord," Ella exclaimed and the two brothers let loose with a string of words that Horatio didn't need to know their native language to interpret as curses.

"Please tell me you caught the son-of-a-bitch," Daniel growled and Horatio could see the raw pain and rage in his eyes for his little girl.

"Yes sir, we have him in custody now and I can assure you he is going to be put away for a very long time," Horatio told him.

"Who attacked little feather?" Nathan asked his voice gentle but full of steel.

"John Hagen," Horatio answered simply.

"The guy she's been dating?" Ella asked in disbelief and Horatio nodded yes.

"I never did like that bastard," Daniel said.

"Apparently his behavior toward Lexi has been deteriorating over the last few months and she decided tonight that she was going to break it off with him. He wasn't happy and decided to show her exactly what he thought about her breaking up with him," Horatio told them.

"What can we do to help her Horatio?" Daniel asked.

"Be there for her when she asks. Let her know we love her, no matter what has happened, yet give her the space she needs to heal. She'll never be the same, not after this, but we need to let her know that she can count on us and that she can get her life back."

The three nodded their understanding and Horatio motioned them to reenter Lexi's room. She was lying with her eyes closed, but Horatio could tell she wasn't sleeping.

I heard them come back into the room and I knew that they all now knew what John had done to me. I took a deep breath and opened my eyes immediately seeking out Horatio's gentle blue gaze.

"Lex, I am really sorry I made you uncomfortable earlier. I would never want to hurt you," Ella told me and I could see regret and tears in her eyes.

"I know you didn't mean to Aunt Ella, its okay. I just need some time all right?" I answered her softly

"Is there anything we can do for you little feather," my Father asked once more using my childhood nickname and I gave him a little smile.

"No Papa, I just need some rest. Hopefully, I'll be home soon, I don't want to cause anyone any trouble."

"You aren't any trouble little feather, don't you ever think you are. We all love you and we will do whatever you need us to do to help you through this, all you have to do is ask. We will go now and let you get some rest. If you need us, you just call. It doesn't matter what time it is we will always be there for you," my Father told me and motioned for the others to follow him out.

Horatio started to follow them, but I stopped him.

"Horatio," I said and he turned back to look at me.

"Please don't leave me," I said softly and I saw my family look back at me in surprise.

"I'm not going anywhere sweetheart," he said coming back to the bed and taking the hand I had stretched out to him.

I looked over to see my Father and Uncle exchange a knowing smile and then they headed out the door.

"So what do you think about those two," Nathan asked his brother as they walked down the hospital corridor. He hadn't missed that "we" Horatio had put in his speech about letting Alexia know she was loved. There had been an attraction between Horatio and Alexia from the very beginning, the whole family had seen it every time they were together, but the two of them seemed not to notice or was ignoring it, he wasn't sure which.

"I would say that they have finally realized the way they feel about each other, I just wish that it hadn't taken this to get through their thick skulls. I would really like to get my hands on Hagen right about now.

"So would I Dan, but that would only make things worse brother. We need to be there for Alexia, we need to keep our minds focused on her and not what we would like to do to Hagen."

"I know, you're right, but he hurt my little girl Nate and I would really like to kill him right now."

"I hear you brother, I hear you. Now let's go home and check on Mom before she decides it would be a good idea to kill us for not letting her know what is going on," Nathan said and Daniel chuckled as they exited the hospital and headed for their truck.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"Thank you for staying with me," I told Horatio when my family had left.

"You're welcome Lexi, I don't want you to be afraid and if my being with you makes things okay for you, then I am happy to stay with you," he answered.

"I appreciate that Horatio, I know you need to be resting so you can work tomorrow," I said and lowered my gaze from his.

"Lexi, I am right where I want to be. I will be here as long as you need me. As for work they can make it without me for a few days," he said raising my chin with his fingers so I would look at him.

"You don't have to miss work for me," I whispered surprised that he would take off, he never takes off.

"I know I don't have to, but I want to. I want to make sure you're all right. I want you to feel as safe as possible and seeing as I was the one you called for help, well then I intend to make sure you feel safe."

"I always feel safe with you," I told him letting my eyes connect with his once again.

For the longest time, we simply stayed that way, our gazes locked and many things being said between us without words. Suddenly, unexpectedly I yawned and we both chuckled.

"Try and get some sleep," he told me pulling the chair up close to my bed, I'll be right here if you need me.

"Thank you Horatio," I said and yawned again as my eyes began to close.

It wasn't long before I began to dream, I was once more back in the car with John and he had me pinned beneath him. Just as had happened in real life I began to struggle and fight him, but he was too strong, his bulk working against my efforts. Just as happened in real life he took what he wanted and nothing I said or did stopped him.

Horatio had sat for a while just watching Lexi sleep. After a little time, he began to doze off himself. Suddenly, he was brought back to the reality of the room around him when Lexi once more began to thrash in her sleep.

"No John please, you know I can't and I don't want to. Please John don't do this," she cried out fighting the sheets covering her as though they were the man who had attacked her.

Horatio sat straight up and then got to his feet as Lexi's words penetrated the haze of his sleepy brain. He moved close to her and gently spoke.

"Lexi, its all right sweetheart, wake up honey your dreaming."

"No, please no," she cried again and Horatio leaned over now and gently shook her shoulder.

"Lexi sweetheart, wake up, you're only dreaming. You're safe. Come on sweetheart wake up," he said gently shaking her again.

In the midst of my terror, a voice broke through to my brain and I realized Horatio was calling out to me and that I was only dreaming. I focused on his gentle voice and pulled myself free of the horrible images that I wished so badly were no more than a nightmare I could forget.

"Horatio," I croaked out from a dry throat and opened my eyes.

"I'm here sweetheart," he said and reached out and smoothed my sweaty hair back from my face. "Take some deep breathes for me sweetheart," he said and I realized my breathing was shallow and fast.

I did as he suggested and after a few breathes I could feel my heart rate slowing and my breathing returning to normal.

"You okay?" he asked and I looked up into his concerned blue eyes, eyes that I could easily get lost in.

"I think so," I stammered and sighed. "How am I ever going to get any sleep Horatio when every time I close my eyes I relive what happened," I continued and couldn't help the tears that began to trickle down my face.

"Hey, don't cry sweetheart, it's going to be all right," he said gently still smoothing my hair trying to sooth me.

"Horatio, would you…" I started and then trailed off, my face going red at the boldness of what I had started to ask.

"What is it sweetheart, you know you can ask me anything," he told me and I looked back up at him. The gentleness I heard in his voice and the sincerity of the look in his eyes gave me the courage to finish my request.

"Horatio, would you hold me?" I asked holding his gaze. I saw surprise and then affection pass through his eyes and I sighed in relief.

He never said a word in response; he simply kicked off his shoes, took off his jacket and his tie and lay down beside me on the bed. Gently, being careful of my injured ribs, he pulled me into his arms.

I lay my head on his chest and he wrapped his arm around my waist. I sighed in contentment as his warmth and the scent of his cologne enveloped me.

"I feel so safe with you, I feel like as long as your arms are around me nothing bad can happen to me. I know that sounds so cheesy and I know I shouldn't be burdening you," I said and trailed off unsure of what else to say.

"Lexi, you could never be a burden to me and I promise you that as long as I can prevent it nothing bad will ever happen to you again. If I didn't want to be here, I wouldn't be here, you know me well enough to know that," he said lifting my chin so I would look at him. "Every time I saw you leave the lab with Hagen, I wanted to run after you and tell you that you should be leaving with me and not him. Every time though, I would talk myself out of it not wanting to risk our friendship or our working relationship. I've been selfish and cowardly in not telling you how I feel and now I feel guilty because if I hadn't been such a coward, so afraid of getting hurt, maybe this never would have happened to you," he continued leaving me in total shock for a moment. I don't think I had ever heard him speak so many words at one time before. I quickly recovered from my shock and rushed to reassure him.

"Horatio, you have nothing to feel guilty about. It was my own poor judgment that made me vulnerable to John. I haven't exactly been honest about my feelings either," I said and reached out and ran my fingertips softly over his cheek. "Tell me how you feel," I whispered and if possible I think his eyes got even bluer at my words.

"I've been attracted to you from the very beginning Lexi and the more I've gotten to know you the more that attraction has grown. Somewhere along the way that attraction has blossomed into love. I love you Lexi and I'm not going to try and hide that fact anymore and if you have no objections I have no intentions of ever letting you go again," he answered and my heart swelled with renewed hope.

"I have no objections at all and I love you too Horatio. I know this is going to sound crazy but I think I've been in love with you from the first time we met. I never dreamed that you would ever return my romantic feelings and so I cherished our friendship and still do."

"Why did you think I would never return your romantic feelings?" he asked and I could see that my words had him confused.

"You can have your pick of women Horatio, I'm nothing special," I answered and lowered my gaze.

"Nothing special," he said and I could hear the disbelief in his voice which made me look at him again as he continued. "Lexi, you are one of the smartest women I know, you're beautiful and kind, generous and loving. You take your job very seriously yet you always make time for your family and friends. You're compassionate and empathetic and I think the world is a better place because of you. I might have my pick of women, but the woman I choose is you, if you'll have me," he concluded and held my gaze as I took in all that he had said and processed it.

"You still want me even after what John did to me?" I asked unsure I understood him correctly.

"Yes, I still want you. You aren't tainted Lexi. You are still the same person you've always been. You just have to adjust to some changes. I love you sweetheart. I'm tired of hiding it and I don't care who knows. However, I don't want you to feel pressured or uncomfortable, so if you still just want to be friends I understand that."

"No Horatio, I want to be more than just friends, I'm just a little overwhelmed at the moment."

"It's all right sweetheart, why don't you try and get some rest and we'll talk more later," he said.

"Okay," I said with a yawn and settled back down on his chest feeling warm and protected.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

The next morning Daniel Twofeathers decided he would go to the hospital early and check on his daughter before going to work. It didn't matter that she was trained and wore a badge and a gun most of the time, those things had not kept her bastard boyfriend from attacking her and those things did not keep her from still being his little girl.

Daniel couldn't remember ever being as angry in his life as he had been when he had walked into that hospital room the night before and saw his daughter and then Horatio had told them everything that had happened and he had become even angrier. If this had been the old days, he and his brother would have strung the bastard up, scalped him and shown him exactly what true punishment was. Being a modern day Native American was not always a good thing he thought with a sigh as he opened the door to Alexia's hospital room and got quite a shock at what he saw.

Horatio lay on the bed with Alexia, his arm protectively around her waist. Alexia's head lay on his chest just over his heart and their free hands were intertwined and resting on Horatio's waist. Daniel had known that Horatio cared for Alexia, but apparently he had underestimated how deep that caring went. As he stood in the door way staring at the pair, Horatio began to stir and then opened his eyes.

When he saw Daniel standing there, his gaze immediately went to Alexia and he eased his body away from her and stood up reaching for his jacket.

"Daniel, I didn't expect you here this early," Horatio said putting on his jacket and slipping his shoes back on.

"Obviously," Daniel replied and immediately regretted the tone in his voice but needing to make sure his little girl was okay.

"Daniel, Lexi asked me to hold her last night, I would never take advantage of her or any other woman for that matter. She couldn't sleep without dreaming and she needed comfort. I would never hurt her and I would never do anything she didn't want me to do. She needed my arms around her last night and I very much enjoyed holding her in my arms. I intend to be here for her in any way she needs me, whenever she needs me and I don't care what anyone thinks," Horatio said seeing the concern in Daniel's eyes.

"Do you love my daughter?" Daniel asked surprising both himself and Horatio.

"With everything that I am," Horatio answered without a moments hesitation and Daniel nodded.

A noise from the bed made them both turn and see that Alexia was waking up. Horatio moved back over to the bed just as Alexia sat straight up calling out his name. She immediately winced in pain and wrapped an arm around her injured ribs to support them.

"Easy sweetheart, I'm right here," Horatio told her reaching out and smoothing her hair away from her face. He then helped her ease back down into a prone position where she sighed and finally opened her eyes.

"Sorry," she said looking up at him and he smiled at her softly as he brushed her unruly black hair away from her face once more.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for sweetheart and you have a visitor."

"Papa," I said as I let my eyes move in his direction and realized who was standing there. "Shouldn't you be at work?"

"I'm on my way little feather," he chuckled. "I wanted to stop by and check on you first though," he answered.

"I'm fine Papa, you don't need to worry about me," I said lowering my gaze, feeling bad because I was causing everyone so much trouble.

"I will always worry about you little feather, that is part of what it means to be a father," he said caressing my face gently and holding my dark gaze with his identical one for a moment. "I'd better go now, I will check on you again later. If you need me you call me, at work or at home, it doesn't matter where I am, I'll be here if you need me."

"I know you will Papa and I promise I'll call if I need anything," He squeezed my hand then and left, leaving Horatio and I alone once more.

True to his words, Horatio stayed with me all that day, only leaving long enough a couple times to go out and get us something to eat besides hospital food. He received several calls from work, but even when I told him it was okay if he needed to leave, he still refused to go and stayed with me.

That night we spent much the same as we had the previous one and the next morning my Aunt Ella arrived with her daughter Natalie and announced that they were going to spend the entire day with me.

Since I wouldn't be alone, I was able to convince Horatio to go in to work that day and he insisted he would be back that night to stay with me.

"I'll see you tonight sweetheart," he said as he started to leave and leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead.

"I'll be here," I said with a small smile which he returned before leaving.

That night just after Horatio returned the doctor came in to check on me.

"Well, I think if everything goes well through the night, you should be able to go home tomorrow," the doctor told me and I was glad to hear it.

"What time tomorrow do you think doctor?" Horatio asked and I knew without him saying that he intended on being there to take me home himself.

"I'd say about noon," the doctor answered and Horatio nodded.

"I'll get the paper work started tonight and then check in on you in the morning," he said.

"Thank you Dr. Smith," I answered and he left the room. "I'm glad I'm going to get to go home," I said smiling up at Horatio.

"I'm glad you are going to get to go home too," he answered with a smile.

We spent a few hours just talking that night. We had had conversations before, but this conversation was more intimate. We talked about our families and our interests, what we liked to do in our spare time and the foods we liked. We even spoke about our spiritual beliefs which differed somewhat but not enough to make a relationship between us impossible.

After a while we both got sleepy and Horatio once more lay down beside me and wrapped his arms protectively around me. This would be the last night we would be able to sleep that way, once I was home, my bed could not be shared unless the man was my husband. I settled against Horatio committing the feel of him to my memory, hoping that his memory would keep the nightmares at bay once I got home. I slept dream free that night and morning came way too soon.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: Just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has been reading and I hope you continue to enjoy my story.**

**Chapter 7**

Horatio went home the next morning to change clothes and take care of some errands, but by noon he was back and waiting for me to be released from the hospital so he could drive me home.

"Uncle Nathan could have come to pick me up, he didn't have to work today," I told Horatio as we waited.

"I wanted to be here Lexi, I want to make sure you get home safe and get settled in comfortably. I know your family will take care of you, but I want to take care of you too," he said his crystal blue eyes full of his affection and love.

"I just don't want to cause anyone any trouble," I said lowering my gaze and blushing a little.

"Sweetheart you're not any trouble, I wish you would believe that," he said raising my chin gently so I would look at him. Before I could say anything else, Dr. Smith came through the door.

"Well, everything looks good Alexia. You're healing nicely and I see no reason why you shouldn't go home. I want to see you in a week for a follow up or sooner if you have any problems," the doctor said showing me where I needed to sign the dismissal forms.

"Thank you Dr. Smith, I appreciate everything you've done for me," I told him.

"You're very welcome and I'll see you in a week," he said and exited the room as a nurse came in with a wheelchair.

The nurse pushed me out of the hospital and to Horatio's hummer and then helped him get me fastened into the passenger seat. Then Horatio went around the front of the hummer and got behind the wheel.

"Well, here we go," he said and pulled out of the parking lot and headed toward my house.

As we got closer to my house, I began to get agitated as I remembered how John had dropped me off in front as if nothing unusual had happened.

"Are you all right Lexi?" Horatio asked his voice soft and gentle.

"Ju, just remembering," I stammered.

"Remembering what sweetheart," he asked.

"How John dropped me off that night as if nothing had happened. He was so cold Horatio, he acted as if it was perfectly normal for him to take me with me begging him not to," I said and a sob slipped from my throat as tears ran down my face.

We had reached my house and Horatio parked the hummer and turned to me. Reaching out, he gathered me into his arms the best he could as he stroked my hair and I sobbed into his shoulder.

"I am so sorry sweetheart," he whispered over and over to me as he let me vent my emotions. A tap on the driver's side window brought us both back to our surroundings.

"Is everything okay?" my Uncle Nathan asked looking in at us and I saw Horatio nod as I tried to dry my face.

Horatio motioned for Nathan to back up and he opened his door and came around to help me out of the hummer. Gently he lifted me down, shut the door and turned and wrapped his arm around my waist for support. I gave him a watery smile and then turned to my Uncle.

"Hey Uncle Nate," I greeted him and he smiled.

"Hey little feather, how are you feeling?"

"A little better, still really sore though."

"Your Aunt Ella washed all your sheets and blankets for you, so your bed is nice and clean and ready for you."

"She didn't have to do that, but I appreciate her doing it for me. Is she home?"

"Nope, it's just me and Mom right now, the kids are at school and everybody else is at work right now. We're gonna have a nice dinner tonight though, Ella is bringing food home from your favorite restaurant."

"That'll be nice Uncle Nate, could we go in now, I am a little tired."

"Of course, I'm sorry little feather, here I am talking your ear off and you just got out of the hospital. I don't know where my brain goes sometimes."

"It's okay," I told him and headed for the house.

The cool air inside felt good after the heat outside and Horatio helped me sit down on the couch and then sat down beside me.

"Well I was wondering if ya'll were ever gonna come in," my Grandmother said as she came in from the kitchen carrying a tray full of glasses of sweet iced tea.

My Grandmother was 75, but didn't look a day over 60. Her hair was just as black as it had been when she was a young girl and her eyes were clear and sparkling. She was spry and active and could work any of us younger generations into the ground.

"Hi Nana," I said and lowered my gaze, shame washing over me. No way would Silvia Twofeathers have allowed herself to be attacked the way I had. Nana it seemed had always been able to read our minds and she spoke to me now knowing exactly what was going through my mind.

"Girl, don't you bow your head in shame in front of me. You have no reason to feel shameful. The toka is the one who should be full of shame, he is the one who will burn in hell for his actions," she said her voice full of venom.

I gave my Grandmother a small smile for her words of support and reached for a glass of tea and handed it to Horatio.

"What does toka mean?" Horatio leaned in and whispered and I chuckled.

"It means enemy," I replied and he nodded and raised his glass to my Grandmother in salute.

"Well said Mrs. Twofeathers," Horatio said taking a sip of his drink.

"Here now young man we'll have none of that, you can call me Silvia or Nana," she told him taking a seat in the chair next to the couch.

"I am Horatio, Silvia and it is nice to meet you,"

"I am glad to meet you as well Horatio. We have heard a lot about you over the past couple of years. I just wish things could have worked out where we could have met you before all this happened."

"So do I Silvia, but I hope to be spending a lot more time here getting to know all of you better," Horatio said to Nana.

"Is that so and just why do you want to get to know us better young man?"

"Nana," I began but Horatio stopped me by touching my hand.

"No Lexi, it's all right she has every right to ask that question especially after everything that has happened. I want to get to know all of you better because I hope to be spending a lot more time with Alexia and I know all of you are very important to her. I have been denying my feelings for her for the past two years and I wish to God it hadn't taken her being hurt to make me see how big a fool I've been for doing so. I'm in love with your granddaughter Silvia and I plan to make up for the time I've wasted if at all possible."

"I believe you Horatio, you have kind eyes. Unlike the toka, he has dead eyes," Nana said surprising me. Before I could say anything, a buzzer went off in the kitchen. "Excuse me a minute," Nana said and went into the kitchen.

"What did she mean that he has dead eyes?" Horatio asked me, knowing that Nana had meant more than just the literal connotations.

"The term in our language carries many meanings. In this case it would mean soulless and inhuman. I can't believe Nana never told me how she saw him."

"Maybe she didn't want to upset you," Horatio said.

"Didn't want to upset you about what?" Nathan said coming back into the room from his family's wing of the house.

"Nana just told us that she thought John has dead eyes," I told my Uncle and I saw the same surprise on his face that I had felt.

"Really, she never said anything to any of us, I wonder why?" Nathan said as Nana came back in with a plate of oatmeal raisin cookies fresh from the oven.

"Nana why didn't you ever tell any of us, especially me, how John made you feel?" I asked her as she put the plate down on the coffee table and sat back down in the chair.

"Because I knew it would upset you and I was hoping I was wrong. I knew he was only a place holder so to speak, I knew you had already found your soul mate, but weren't admitting it to yourself yet. I knew by the way you've talked about Horatio over the years that eventually the two of you would find your way to each other. I do wish now though that I had said something to you about the toka and for that I am sorry.

I was totally blown away by Nana's words and when I chanced a glance at Horatio, I could see that he was as well. My Grandmother had always been very perceptive when it came to her children and grandchildren, but this was almost scary.

"It's all right Nana; you just surprised me with your comment. I can't believe I didn't see the kind of person John was before this all happened, I saw the signs, but I guess I was just fooling myself," I said and the tears began to flow again.

Horatio put down his glass and wrapped his arm around my shoulders pulling me close. I turned and buried my face in his neck, letting the warmth and strength of his arms and his scent sooth me. When I had calmed down again and looked up I realized that Nana and Nathan had left us alone.

"I'm sorry," I whispered to him.

"For what?" he asked.

"I keep blubbering all over you, I'm going to make you soggy if I don't stop," I replied trying to lighten things up a bit and giving him a small smile.

"I don't mind being soggy," he said and reached up and cupped my face in his hand. I leaned into his caress, knowing he meant what he said.

A little while later, the rest of my family started getting home from work and Nana invited Horatio to stay for dinner. He accepted and we all shared a meal together along with pleasant conversation. Everyone helped clean up and then we all went to the family room to watch a movie the children had picked out.

As time passed and it got later, I began to get nervous and agitated again, but I hid it because I didn't want to upset anyone. When Horatio said it was time for him to go, I almost panicked, but I kept myself under control and walked him to the door.

"I'm just a phone call away," he told me as we reached the front door.

"I know," I whispered with my eyes lowered and he reached out and lifted my chin locking gazes with me.

I saw question in his deep blue eyes and I sucked in a breath of surprise as I realized his eyes were asking for permission for him to kiss me.

"Yes!" I breathed and he gently slipped his arms around me and brushed his mouth over mine. My knees went weak at that feather light touch and I leaned into him and lay my head against his chest for a moment.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he said, his voice husky and full of emotion.

"Tomorrow," I replied lifting my gaze back to his.

He brushed another soft kiss across my lips and let me go. I closed the door behind him and leaned against it to regain my equilibrium.

"Good Lord," I thought. "If a mere brush of his lips makes me feel that way, how will I ever survive being truly kissed by that man."

A genuine grin spread over my face at that moment, the first one in a really long time. As I made my way to my bedroom for the night, I thought about the possibilities and how I couldn't wait to explore them with Horatio.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Unfortunately, my pleasant thoughts of the man I loved did not keep the nightmares away that night. The images came but this time they were a little different. This time I was calling out to Horatio for help and he wouldn't come. It was like I could see him in the distance, but he couldn't see or hear me.

Ella Twofeathers was coming through the family room headed for the kitchen for a middle of the night snack when she heard noises coming from her niece Alexia's bedroom. Worried about her, she peeked in to check on her. Alexia was thrashing around fighting with her blankets and calling out for help. Knowing that her niece was dreaming of her attack, Ella went over and shook her shoulder as she called out her name. Alexia sat straight up with a gasp.

"Horatio!" she exclaimed and searched for the man she was calling for.

"Horatio, where are you?" she said again and the plea in Alexia's voice was enough to break Ella's heart.

"Horatio isn't here Lex, he went home remember," Ella told her niece.

"Aunt Ella, I want Horatio, I need him, please call him, please!"

"Okay honey, I'll call him, but you need to calm down and tell me where to find his phone number," Ella spoke to her gently trying to calm her.

"In my phone," she said and pointed to her cell lying on the nightstand and then she wrapped her arms around her drawn up knees and buried her head there and began to sob.

Ella hit the speed dial number that corresponded to Horatio Caine's name and only had to wait for two rings before he picked up.

"Lexi are you okay?" he asked without greeting and Ella smiled at the man's obvious affection for her niece.

"Horatio, its Ella Twofeathers, we need you back at the house. I woke Lex from a nightmare and she is hysterical and asking for you."

"I'm on my way Ella, I'll be there as quickly as possible," he replied and hung up his phone before she could say another word.

Less than ten minutes later, Ella could hear a siren pull into their driveway and she knew that her niece's savior had arrived. Alexia jumped from the bed and headed for the front door before the siren had died away. Daniel had barely opened the door and greeted Horatio before Alexia came at them and Horatio turned wrapping his arms around her.

When Ella woke me from my dream the only thing I was really aware of was that Horatio wasn't there and I felt like I was going to lose my mind if I didn't have his arms around me soon. I begged my Aunt to call him and I heard her end of the conversation as she did as I asked.

It wasn't long until I heard the siren and I knew it was Horatio. I jumped up from the bed and ran for the front door. My Father had opened the door but I had eyes only for Horatio who turned and caught me in his arms as I flung myself at him.

"I've got you," he whispered as I once more sobbed against his shoulder.

"You weren't there," I gasped through my tears.

"I am now sweetheart and I'm not going anywhere," he told me rubbing his hand down my hair soothingly.

"Please don't leave me," I whimpered and I felt his arms tighten around me. My ribs protested the pressure, but I didn't care, I needed his arms around me too much to care about a little bit of pain.

"Come on," he said and he lifted me into his arms and carried me to the couch. He sat down and settled me into his lap. "I'm not leaving you Lexi, I'm staying right here. We'll sleep on the couch that way I won't be sharing your bed."

"Okay," I mumbled nestling my head against his chest.

As he held me and stroked my hair, I began to calm and finally I let my eyes close and I drifted back to sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note: Posted four chapters this time because two were pretty short. Be assured I am still working on this story and will post as often as I can. Maybe a longer wait this time though as I have hurt my shoulder and back and it is painful for me to write. Please don't give up on me though, I will post as soon as possible. Thanks to all of you who are reading, please leave reviews.**

**Chapter 9**

When Horatio's phone rang in the middle of the night, he had still been awake and worrying about Lexi. When he saw her number on the caller ID he became even more concerned. Even as Ella had explained to him what had happened he could hear Lexi crying in the background. Before he had even finished his conversation with Ella, he was out his front door and unlocking the hummer.

As he backed out of his driveway, he flipped on his lights and sirens wanting to get to Lexi as quickly as possible. It took him less than ten minutes to get back to her house and her Father was waiting at the door when he arrived.

"Thank you for coming Horatio. Ella has tried to calm her, but she just keeps asking for you," Daniel said and Horatio caught movement out of the corner of his eye. He turned just in time to catch Lexi as she flew into his arms.

"I've got you," he whispered to her and she buried her face against his shoulder.

"You weren't there," she gasped and Horatio knew she meant when she had awakened from her dream.

"I am now sweetheart and I'm not going anywhere," he told her smoothing his hand down her silky hair in an attempt to sooth her.

"Please don't leave me," she pleaded and the sheer vulnerability in her voice once more made him want to kill Hagen.

"Come on," he said and lifted her into his arms and carried her over to the couch. He sat down settling her into his lap. "I'm not leaving you Lexi, I'm staying right here. We'll sleep on the couch that way I won't be sharing your bed," he continued and looked up into the surprised eyes of her Father.

"Okay," she mumbled and he continued to stroke his fingers through her silky hair until she fell back to sleep.

"How much do you love my daughter Horatio?" Daniel asked and Horatio locked gazes with the older man in surprise.

"Excuse me?" Horatio replied.

"There is a Native American ceremony of bonding that would allow you to share my daughter's bed. It is not the same as a marriage contract and is not binding in Florida law, but it is binding among our tribe," Daniel answered.

"What place would this give me in the tribe?" Horatio asked wanting to make sure that he understood Daniel correctly.

"Among the tribe you would be considered my son and Alexia's husband. However, the same would not be true of the state of Florida. It is a tribal custom and is not considered legal by the state, but the tribe and I believe God would consider it a true bonding so long as your feelings are true and your commitment is strong."

"Don't you think that would be rushing things a little, I mean I love Alexia and as far as I'm concerned I intend to spend the rest of my life loving her, but will she feel the same way when the trauma of her attack fades?" Horatio asked.

"I saw the terror and despair in her eyes tonight when she woke up without you and I also saw the change that came over her in your arms, her love for you is genuine Horatio I can see it every time she looks at you. Talk to her in the morning, ask her about the bonding. If you both decide it is what you want to do it can be done immediately. The two of you can decide later if you want to make your union legal through the state of Florida," Daniel replied and started to walk away.

"Sir, why did you bring this up now?" Horatio asked and Daniel turned back to answer.

"I saw how you held her in that hospital bed and you rushed to her side tonight. Only a man with a true heart would do that and only a man with a true heart is worthy of my daughter. You sit here now protecting her, not so much physically, but emotionally. You sit here losing sleep yourself to make sure she sleeps peacefully. If it wasn't for that red hair of yours Horatio, I would think you were already a member of the tribe. Make her your Mitawin through the tradition of our people and you truly will be," Daniel answered and left Horatio to think about everything he had said.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

**Author's Note: Sorry it has been so long since I've posted, but there are three new chapters for your enjoyment. Please tell me what you think.**

The next morning, the first thing I became aware of when I started to wake up was the strong arms holding me in a warm embrace. As I slowly awakened, memories of my middle of the night break down came back to me and I felt embarrassed. I knew it was Horatio who held me and I didn't want to move. I was comfortable and safe and I didn't want that to end. After a few moments of just enjoying being in his arms, I lifted my head and looked up at his face.

He was relaxed in sleep, yet he still held me close. In that moment my love for him grew even stronger. This man was so unselfish and kind, always there for his family and friends. He had interrupted his own rest to come to me in the middle of the night and I would forever be grateful for his generous spirit.

I reached up and slid my fingers over his jaw in a gentle caress and instantly his blue eyes opened and locked with my brown ones.

"Good morning," he said his voice rough from sleep.

"Good morning," I replied and continued to caress his jaw.

He reached up and grasped my wrist gently and brought my hand around so that he could place a soft kiss on my palm. My hand tingled as his lips moved from my palm to my wrist where he placed soft, gentle, butterfly kisses around the bruises that John had left there.

"How do you feel this morning?" he asked with a soft smile and it took me several seconds to regain my senses enough to answer him.

"I feel a little better today. Thank you for coming last night."

"Nothing could have kept me away sweetheart, you needed me. I had an interesting conversation with your Father though after you fell asleep," he told me.

"Oh really, what did you two talk about?" I asked.

"Your father told me to make you my Mitawin," Horatio answered and I gasped in surprise.

"He spoke to you about the bonding?" I stammered.

"Yes he did and I do have a couple of questions," he answered.

"He must really think a lot of you Horatio, not a lot of people outside of the tribe know about the bonding ceremony. Go ahead and ask your questions."

"What exactly does Mitawin mean translated?"

"You said that Papa told you to make me your Mitawin, he meant you should make me your woman. If you use Mitawin to refer to me in conversation, you are telling those who understand our language that I belong to you that I am your woman," I told him blushing and realized the thought of belonging to Horatio did not make me feel the same way it had when John had said I belonged to him. I also knew that if Horatio ever said that I belonged to him, he would not mean it in the same way John had.

"Would you be opposed to being my Mitawin?" Horatio asked.

At his question, I once more looked into his eyes searching for the truth of his words. What I saw was pure and genuine. I wasn't exactly sure how much my father had told him about the bonding, but I could tell that Horatio had thought sincerely about it and that he was truly asking me for a commitment.

After what had happened with John, I hadn't been sure I would ever be able to let a man touch me even casually again, but from that very night I hadn't had any problem letting Horatio touch me. His touch was comforting and I felt safe, I knew he would never hurt me. In fact, his gentle, loving touches were beginning to make me think that I could actually enjoy life again, be normal again.

Once I knew what would happen to John, I was pretty sure things would get better and I also knew that as long as I had Horatio to love me and show me the way back to myself, everything would be all right.

"You okay Lexi; I didn't mean to push you. I'm sorry, I should have waited to mention my conversation with Daniel," Horatio said when my thoughts led me to remain silent a little too long.

"No, Horatio, I'm glad you told me, I just got lost in thought for a minute there. It would make me very happy to become your Mitawin. I never dreamed that I would be talking to you about this. I was simply happy to be your friend. To hear you ask me to be so much more and to see the sincerity in your eyes makes me giddy," I told him and surprised him and myself by kissing him tentatively.

The kiss started out gentle and then I felt his hand slip up into my hair and tangle there. The feel of his fingers in my hair made me moan in pleasure and he took advantage of the slight parting of my lips to deepen the kiss. He softly slid his tongue over mine and my heart began to race as another moan of pleasure escaped. The kiss seemed endless and perfect and we only separated when we both became desperate for air.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that," he said leaning his forehead against mine as we both tried to catch our breath.

"I'm not complaining, that was amazing," I answered him.

"I don't want you to feel pressured," he said.

"I know you would never pressure me Horatio and I don't feel pressured at all. If I had wanted you to stop I would have indicated as much and I know you would have stopped. That kiss was wonderful and I loved every second of it and I hope to share a lot more with you in the future," I said smiling at him and blushing a little.

"Does that mean you want to go through with the bonding ceremony Daniel told me about," Horatio asked. "Or would you rather wait and have a wedding that would be legal for the state."

I didn't think he could surprise me anymore, but I was wrong. He wasn't just asking me to be his woman, he was asking me to be his wife. My head was spinning from all the things that had happened over the past few days. When this man made up his mind about something, he went at it with all barrels blasting.

"Horatio, do you really want to marry me, or do you think you have to in order to keep staying with me. These are special circumstances and my father isn't going to say anything if we don't…" my words were cut off when he kissed me once more.

"When I saw you at the park that night Lexi, I cursed myself for not telling you how I felt. We've lost too much time; I don't want to spend another day without telling you and showing you how much I love you and care for you. I want to be able to hold you and touch you whenever I want, night or day. I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy and being happy with you. I want you to be my Mitawin and my wife, but if you're not ready for that then we'll wait until you are," he replied.

"I'm ready for both Horatio but for now let's have the bonding and we can talk about the rest later," I whispered and spotted my father coming out of his bedroom and heading for the kitchen to start his morning coffee. "Papa would you come here for a minute," I called out to him.

"Hey little feather, how are you feeling this morning?" he asked as he came over to us.

"I'm doing okay Papa," I answered and gave Horatio a meaningful look.

"Mr. Twofeathers I have spoken with Alexia and I have decided to make your daughter my Mitawin. I want to lover her, protect her and keep her safe for the rest of my days," Horatio said knowing what I had in mind when I called my father over.

"All right, we will have the ceremony at sunset tonight in our backyard. You may invite those you would like to be here Horatio. Alexia I suggest you go speak to your grandmother about preparations. Horatio we will see you back here just before sunset, have your guests meet you here at that time," Daniel Twofeathers said immediately taking charge.

"Yes Father," I responded, gave Horatio a happy smile and got out of his lap to go and find Nana.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Horatio left Alexia's house, his mind racing. He had a lot to do before sunset. His first stop was home to change clothes, and then he headed for the lab to invite their friends to the ceremony that night.

When he walked into the lab, he automatically picked up any messages from the front desk and then he headed for autopsy to invite Alexx first. Horatio was grateful when he walked in and found Alexx working on paperwork and not a DB.

"Hey baby," she said when she looked up and saw him approaching.

"Hey Alexx, what are your plans for after work today?" he asked giving her a grin.

"Well baby, I guess that depends on you as you obviously have something in mind. Lay it on me Horatio," she said returning his grin.

"How would you like to attend a bonding ceremony?" he asked.

"A bonding ceremony?" she asked in confusion.

"Yes, a Native American bonding ceremony. Alexia and I are going to be bonded tonight at sunset. Her father told me I could invite anyone I wanted and I definitely want you and the others there with us."

"Well, I'll be there with bells on baby. Have you talked to Eric and Ryan yet," she asked with a bright smile of approval.

"Not yet, I wanted to ask you first."

"I believe they are both in the fingerprint lab."

"Thanks Alexx," he said and turned to go find the rest of his team.

On his way to the fingerprint lab he opened his phone and called Frank Tripp who assured him he would be at the ceremony. When he got to the fingerprint lab, he was in luck. Eric, Ryan and Calleigh were all present discussing a case they were working on.

"Hey H," Eric greeted as he entered the room.

"Hey Eric," he greeted back.

"How is Lexi doing?" Calleigh asked before Horatio could get another word out and he smiled at the obvious concern they all had for Lexi.

"She's doing all right and I have something to ask the three of you."

"What is it H?" Eric asked.

"Alexia and I would like for the three of you to attend our bonding ceremony tonight at sunset in Alexia's backyard," Horatio told them and saw the shock that crossed their faces.

"Bonding ceremony?" Ryan asked.

"Yes, Lexi is Lakota and she and I are going to make a commitment to each other tonight in a traditional ceremony. It is not the same as a marriage ceremony, but it represents just as much of a commitment. This will bind us together in the eyes of her tribe and we can decide later if we want to take it a step further and have a wedding ceremony for the state of Florida. Right now this is what we feel is right for us."

"Wow Horatio, I'm happy for both of ya," Calleigh said and gave him a hug. "You can bet I'll be there. What time?"

"Just before sunset," Horatio replied.

"I'll be there too H and congratulations," Eric said.

"Yeah congrats boss, I'll be there too," Ryan chimed in.

"Well, I'll see you there then," Horatio told them and left the lab to see to a few more details.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

**Author's Note: To all my readers out there, some of the traditions and parts of the ceremony that I am including in this chapter may not be true of Lakota tradition, but remember folks this is a work of fiction and I am trying to be creative here. J**

Just before sunset that night, all of mine and Horatio's friends, Yelana and Ray Jr and my family all gathered in a circle around us in the backyard. As head of the family, my father would preside over the ceremony.

Horatio wore a black suit and tie, but I wore my grandmother's traditional bonding dress. Made of buckskin, the dress was bleached to an almost pure white and was embroidered with an intricate and colorful Lakota design. Each pattern and color representing a symbol of the bonding; love, kindness, courage, faithfulness, generosity and loyalty were all represented in the dress' design. Fringe and beading hung from the hem, sleeves and collar and my hair was braided down my back and threaded with feathers and strings of beads that matched the design on the dress. I walked to Horatio barefoot as a symbol that I was coming to him pure. Although this was not exactly true for me, my grandmother assured me that the tradition would still apply to me as I had not given up my purity willingly. As I took my place beside Horatio, my father began to speak.

"We gather here tonight as family and friends to celebrate and acknowledge the love between Horatio and Alexia. Horatio and Alexia you have chosen tonight to take a leap of faith and declare a commitment to each other. The force of that commitment and the strength of the love you share reaches out from you and engulfs all of us, changing us as well. We are all a part of your sea and the ripple of the love from this celebration stands and grows in each of us."

"Horatio and Alexia you are now taking into your care and keeping the one you love most in this world. You are adding into your life the companionship and blessing of a deep trust. You are to each other strength, responsibility and love.

"In human history, we have not discovered a better way of life than sharing love in a lasting and responsible way. You have found a mate to share your love, companionship, hopes, joys and dreams with. Real love is something beyond the warmth and romance that you are feeling today. It is caring as much about your partner's welfare as of your own. Real love is not total absorption in each other, but rather the sharing of two hearts, two minds, and two bodies. Love makes burdens lighter because you have someone with whom to share them. Love makes you stronger in many ways and able to face life in ways you dare not face alone."

"Alexia please repeat after me. I Alexia offer myself to you Horatio as companion, lover, and friend and I promise to love you until the creator calls me to the sky," Daniel told his daughter.

"I Alexia offer myself to you Horatio as companion, lover, and friend and I promise to love you until the creator calls me to the sky."

"Horatio please repeat after me," Daniel continued turning in his direction. "I Horatio offer myself to you Alexia as companion, lover, friend and protector and I promise to love you until the creator calls me to the sky."

"I Horatio offer myself to you Alexia as companion, lover, friend, and protector and I promise to love you until the creator calls me to the sky."

"What token of love do you choose to bind this union?" Daniel asked and Horatio and Alexia answered in unison.

"We have rings."

"Alexia place the ring on Horatio's finger and repeat after me: I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and commitment to you!"

"Horatio I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and commitment to you!" Alexia said and slipped the ring her grandmother had given her onto Horatio's finger. The ring had been her grandfather's and her grandmother had insisted that she wanted her to give it to Horatio, telling her that she hoped Horatio and Alexia had as long and loving a bonding as she and her Samuel had had.

"Horatio place the ring on Alexia's finger and repeat after me: I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and commitment to you!"

"Alexia I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and commitment to you!" Horatio said and slipped a white gold band with an intricate design etched into the service onto Alexia's finger. He had searched jewelry stores all afternoon looking for the perfect band and had finally found it in the sixth store he visited.

"Horatio and Alexia, may your lives together be joyful and content. May you love be as bright as the stars and serve as a beacon for us, your family and friends. May your love be as warm as the sun, as wild as the oceans and as enduring as the mountains! I now say that these two are bonded and belong to each other. Horatio you may kiss your Mitawin," Daniel concluded and everyone cheered as Horatio took Alexia into his arms and kissed her soundly.

After the ceremony, refreshments were served and good wishes conveyed. Horatio and I greatly enjoyed celebrating with our friends and family and about midnight everyone decided to call it a night.

**Another Note: I am still working on this story. It seems like every time I get to a point where I think I am going to end it, the story leads me to write more. This is not the end of this story, I am still writing it. I have some more written on paper but not yet typed up. I like doing my writing on paper and then perfecting so to speak when I type it out. Please please pleeeese tell me what you think so far and if the characters are believable. Thank you so much to those of you who are reading I appreciate you very much. Will post more as soon as I can, but please don't get upset if it takes a little bit. I am working and taking care of an elderly parent so spare time is scarce.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

**Author's Note: Surprise I got some unexpected spare time to type this up and so here is the next chapter. Enjoy!**

I was tired when we got back to what would now be our bedroom, but I hated for the night to end too. Horatio went into the bathroom to change into sleep pants and a t-shirt and I changed into the same in the bedroom. When he came out of the bathroom, I was standing at the window looking out at the few stars you could see from our location.

"You all right?" he asked as he came up behind me and slipped his arms around my waist.

"I'm fine," I answered and leaned back against him. "I was just thinking about everything that has happened over the last few days."

"A little overwhelming isn't it?" he said.

"A little, but I am really happy that we're together. I don't know if I could have stayed sane if you hadn't been here for me."

"You don't give yourself enough credit, sweetheart," he said and turned me in his arms to face him. You would have been just fine. You have your family's support too."

"I know I do, but it's just not the same Horatio. That night after the attack, all I could think about was getting to you. I knew that if I could have you with me everything would be okay again. That's why I called you and not one of my family, I didn't want anyone but you."

As I finished my statement, Horatio brought his lips to mine in a gentle kiss. He started to pull away then, but I stopped him by threading my fingers through his hair and deepening the kiss. He brushed his hands upward under my shirt skimming the bare skin at my sides and I moaned in pleasure at the feel of his touch. When I didn't protest his exploration, he trailed kisses along my jaw and down my neck then back up to my ear.

"If you want me to stop, you only have to ask," he whispered against my ear, his warm breath making me shiver with pleasure.

"I know," I whispered and encouraged him with another kiss.

His hands went into my hair deepening the kiss. Slowly his hand slid down to my neck and over the center of my chest and my breath caught when he rested his hand there for a moment. Slowly he slid his hand over my shirt caressing my breasts then moving down to skim over my stomach. I moaned softly as shivers of pleasure rolled from my head to toes.

"I love you," he whispered as he gently lifted my shirt over my head and tossed it aside.

"I love you too," I said an instant before his lips were on mine again, his tongue stroking across them seeking entrance.

I couldn't suppress a moan as the electricity of the kiss sent shockwaves through my system. My lips parted and Horatio took full advantage, sliding his tongue inside stroking against mine. His arms went around my waist as he explored and then shifting slightly his fingers slid down the column of my throat, stroking the soft skin and lingering at my pulse point. His lips then followed the path his fingers had just taken, kissing and sucking at the soft skin then making his way down and across my collarbone. His hands trailed down my back causing me to shiver as his fingertips brushed down my spine. Bringing his lips back to mine he cupped a breast in each hand his fingers brushing across my nipples making me gasp in pleasure.

"So soft, so perfect," he murmured as he massaged them gently, his fingers kneading and stroking.

Then, before I could catch my breath from the overwhelming feel of his hands on me, his lips moved lower and he sucked my left nipple into his warm mouth. I cried out in pleasure, his hands and his mouth turning my entire being into liquid fire.

"Horatio," I cried.

"I know," he whispered and moved his ministrations to my other breast. I groaned arching my back and threading my fingers through his hair trying to get closer.

After several intense moments, he kissed his way back to my lips and I began tugging at his shirt wanting to feel his bare skin against mine. Taking a step back he pulled the shirt over his head and then quickly pulled me back into his arms. When his chest came into full contact with my sensitized breasts, I thought I was going to melt into a puddle at his feet.

I couldn't believe how much pleasure he was giving me with only his touch and every touch only made me crave more. Slowly he began to lead me toward our bed and I followed his lead. When I felt the edge of the bed come into contact with the backs of my logs, I instinctively sank onto the bed and he followed, his body covering mine.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, I was no longer in the room with Horatio, but I was back in the car with John and he was pinning me down with his body. I began to panic and tore my mouth away from his and pushed at his chest. Instantly he lifted himself from the bed and I sat up drawing in deep breaths as I tried to push the panic away.

"Lexi, it's okay sweetheart, you're here with me and we're not going to do anything you don't want to do," Horatio said softly kneeling beside the bed in front of me.

"Oh god Horatio, I am so sorry, I suddenly found myself back in that car with John. I was enjoying your touches and kisses and then when we lay down on the bed, suddenly it wasn't you anymore, it was John and I felt trapped," I told him tears streaming down my face.

"You have nothing to be sorry for Lexi. You're not ready for more and that's all right. I am just sorry that I scared you, I shouldn't have pushed you."

"You didn't push me Horatio and I want to give myself to you completely, I'm just not sure when I'll be able to," I told him and lowered my head in shame. Here was the kindest, gentlest, most generous man I knew wanting to show me his love and I couldn't let him. To truly be his Mitawin, I would have to give him my body and I was ashamed that I could not.

"Please don't cry," he said lifting my face to his and wiping my tears away with his thumbs. "Tell me what you're thinking," he whispered.

"I pledged myself to you tonight and I can't complete the bonding. You have given me everything and I can't give you the one thing a Mitawin can truly give her bond mate on their bonding night," I sobbed.

"Oh Lexi, I love you so much and I didn't take you as my Mitawin so that I could have your body. You are more to me than that. You are my best friend and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Being able to simply hold you in my arms is enough for me. One day you will be able to share all of yourself with me, I have no doubt of that, you just need some time, you've been through a lot."

He moved to sit beside me on the bed and wrapped his arms around me pulling me close once more. He held me and rocked me gently as I cried out my sorrow at not being able to complete our union.

"Let's try and get some sleep," he said softly when I had quieted and we moved to get into bed. He reached for our shirts, but I stopped him.

"Leave them" I whispered.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Positive, I want to feel your skin against mine, I just can't…"

"Shh, I understand," he said and we curled up together to sleep as we had at the hospital.

Before I let sleep claim me that night, I sent up a prayer to the creator that I would soon be able to share my whole self with Horatio.

Horatio lay awake for a long time after Lexi fell asleep cursing himself for pushing her too soon. She said he hadn't pushed her, but he felt like he had. Things never would have gone as far as they had if he hadn't pushed a little.

He had waited so long to touch her and he had let his libido take over his common sense. When Lexi had started struggling beneath him and pushing at his chest, he had felt like a royal bastard. He had gotten off her as quickly as possible, but he could still see the panic and fear in her dark eyes as he had tried to reassure her everything was all right. She whimpered softly in her sleep and he ran his fingers through her silky hair soothingly.

"It's all right sweetheart, I've got you, I'm right here," he told her tightening his arms around her.

She inched closer to him, her head moving from his shoulder to lay on his chest just over his heart. She sighed in contentment and Horatio was amazed at how much she trusted him even after he had frightened her.

"I love you Horatio," she murmured in her sleep as if she could read his thoughts and he kissed her gently on the forehead.

"I love you too Lexi," he whispered back and finally allowed his own body to relax into sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

**Author's Note: Woo Hoo, had time to type this chapter too. Unfortunately this is the last I have written, so I have to wait till the muse hits again. I know what I want to happen, but I have to figure out how to get there. I'll try not to keep you hanging for long.**

The next morning Horatio was awakened by the sound of his cell phone ringing from the nightstand. Carefully he leaned over to get it while keeping Lexi firmly in his embrace.

"Horatio Caine," he said into the phone still a little groggy from a late night.

"Sorry to wake you H," Eric Delco's voice answered from the other end of the line.

"It's all right Eric," he told the younger man.

"I have some news about Hagen I thought you would want to know as soon as possible," Eric continued and Horatio eased himself away from Lexi and sat up on the side of the bed.

"Please tell me he hasn't managed to get out of lock up," Horatio said rubbing his hand over his face.

"No H, he's still in lock up and will be for a long time. We nailed his ass H and not just for what he did to Lexi."

"What do you mean?" Horatio asked.

"Well on a hunch and due to her own brief experience with the bastard, Calleigh ran Hagen's DNA through the database for unsolved cases. It seems Lexi is not the first woman he has done this to. His DNA came up as a match to an unsolved rape case from a year ago. The woman never saw her attacker's face and guess who the responding officer was when she called it in."

'Hagen," Horatio said with a curse.

"You got it, I don't know how he managed it, but somehow the DNA from that case never got ran against the MDPD database and so the match was never made them, but we got him now. The prosecutor is filing the charges for assault, battery, and rape on both cases as we speak."

"Thanks for calling me Eric."

"You're welcome H. Give Lexi my love and if either of you need anything you just give me a call."

"We will Eric and thanks again."

Horatio closed his hone and breathed a sigh of relief that Hagen wouldn't be getting away with what he had done this time. He felt a gentle hand stroke across his back and he realized that Lexi must have heard his conversation.

"What is it Horatio?" she asked and he turned toward her and saw the worry and fear in her eyes.

"It's all right Lexi, we got him, he's going away for a very long time," he told her and pulled her into his arms. He told her what Eric had told him and he felt tears falling on his shoulder as Lexi's relief that her attacker would indeed be punished overwhelmed her.

"God Horatio, I was so afraid that he would somehow get out of it and come after me again," she sobbed and his heart broke that she had been carrying that fear around.

"I'll never let anyone hurt you ever again," he told her holding her closer and stroking her hair which seemed to sooth her.

I awoke when Horatio moved away from me and sat up on the side of the bed. The loss of his warmth against me disturbed my rest. Even in sleep I was completely aware of him and my body and mind protested the fact that he had moved away from me.

"Please tell me he hasn't managed to get out of lock up," Horatio said and I realized he had his cell phone in his hand. Then his words sunk in and I had no doubt who he meant. My heart began to race and panic once more threatened to claim me.

"What do you mean?" Horatio said to the person on the other end of the phone and the confusion in his voice made my fear go up a notch. Not being able to hear the other end of the conversation was very frustrating.

"Hagen," Horatio said with a curse and I flinched at the mere mention of the man's name, not to mention the venom I could plainly hear in Horatio's voice.

"Thanks for calling me Eric," Horatio spoke again and I finally knew the identity of the caller.

"We will Eric and thanks again for calling," Horatio said and closed his phone. The sigh that escaped him made me move closer to him and I stroked my hand across his back wanting to ease the tension I could see there.

"What is it Horatio?" I asked and he turned toward me.

His deep blue eyes immediately held concern for me and my heart did a flip inside my chest. "Oh my god, he's going to get away with it," I thought and my fear and panic must have been obvious to Horatio even though I didn't say the words aloud.

"It's all right Lexi, we got him, he's going away for a long time," he told me and pulled me into his arms. He told me about what Calleigh had found and that the prosecutor was filing charges not only for my rape but for another as well.

I buried my face in his shoulder then and let the emotion I had been keeping at bay come flooding out.

"God Horatio, I was so afraid that he would somehow get out of it and come after me again," I cried and I felt his arms tighten around me.

"I'll never let anyone hurt you ever again," he whispered against my ear.

We sat for a long time and he stroked his fingers through my hair every stoke of his hand made me calmer and soon I was quietly lying against him simply enjoying the feel of his closeness.

"Are you okay?" he asked moving away from me slightly so he could look into my face.

"I will be now that I know John is going to be punished for what he did. Now maybe I can move past this and truly enjoy our life together," I told him and reached my hand up to caress his face. He placed his hand on mine against his cheek and closed his eyes for a moment then he moved my hand away and placed a soft kiss in the center of my palm sending a pleasant shiver up my spine.

"I look forward to our future together Lexi," he replied with a smile that I knew would always be for me alone. After a moment I saw his eyes travel to the clock and his expression grew more serious. "We're going to be late for your follow up appointment with Dr. Smith if we don't hurry up and get dressed," he said and brushed a gentle kiss over my lips as he got up to do just that.

I had completely forgotten about my appointment and I quickly got up and got dressed myself. Thirty minutes later we were out the door and on our way to Dr. Smith's office.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

My appointment with Dr. Smith went well, my injuries were healing nicely and he told me that if everything stayed good I could go back to work on light duty on Monday. That would give me the weekend to keep healing and to spend quality time with Horatio.

"What would you like to do for the rest of the day," Horatio asked when we left the doctor's office.

"How about we go to the beach for a little while? I think I would like to sit and enjoy the sunshine with you for a while," I answered giving him a smile.

"Sounds good, we'll have to make a stop at my condo so I can get my trunks before we go back to the house to change. I didn't think to pack those when I went by and got some things," he said and it suddenly occurred to me that we had never had a conversation about where we would live after the bonding ceremony.

"Horatio," I whispered and he glanced over at me because of the tone he could hear in my voice.

"What is it Lexi?" he asked reaching over and taking my hand in his.

"I..I just realized that we never talked about where we would live after the ceremony," I answered.

"Lexi, I would never ask you to leave your family. You are very close and I don't want to change that, in fact, I want to become a part of that closeness. It doesn't matter where we live as long as we are together, so for now we'll stay where we are and we'll talk about it again later if you feel like we need to."

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"I'm sure," he said and squeezed my hand.

We stopped at his condo and he got his swimming trunks and a few other things he thought he might need and then we went back to the house to change for the beach. Nana was in the living room when we got back and I stopped to tell her what the doctor had said.

"So what are you two going to do with yourselves for the rest of the day?" Nana asked when I had given her the doctor's report.

"Well, we thought we would go to the beach for a while and enjoy the sunshine," I told her.

"I think that's a wonderful idea. The two of you could use some time alone," Nana said. "You two go get changed for the beach and I will fix you a picnic basket to take with you."

"You don't have to do that Nana," I told her.

"I know I don't have to, but I want to, now you two go change."

"Yes Ma'am," we both answered her and got up and went to our bedroom to change.

Horatio grabbed his trunks and a t-shirt and went into the bathroom to change and I rummaged through my drawers to find a swim suite. It had been a while since I had occasion to wear one, so I wasn't sure where they were. After a few minutes of searching I came up with a deep purple bikini and changed into it.

Noticing the bruises still visible on my wrists, I moved to the closet and looked in the full length mirror mounted on the back of the door. I gasped at the site that greeted me. The bruises along my ribcage were still very much visible, not to mention the ones on my thighs.

"I can't go out in public like this," I said as Horatio stepped up behind me and wrapped his arms around me as tears once more made their way down my face.

"Sweetheart you look beautiful to me," he said kissing the side of my neck.

"Thank you for saying so, but I absolutely do not want anyone to think that you are responsible for these bruises," I told him and turned in his arms to bury my face in his chest.

"There is a small private beach not too far from my condo. We can go there and it will just be you, me, the sunshine, and the water," he said against my ear and I looked up and smiled. "Let's go," he said smiling back and he lead me back to the living room after I had grabbed a cover up to wear over my bikini.

"Here you go kids," Nana said handing us a picnic basket and a small cooler when we reentered the living room.

"Thanks Nana," Horatio said and gave her a kiss on the cheek making her blush.

"Get out of here young man and enjoy the day with your Mitawin," Nana said and Horatio and I hastened to leave.

"She loves you very much," Horatio said after we had closed the front door behind us.

"I love her very much. I was only eight when my mother died from cancer and Nana was there for me when Mama couldn't be."

"I'm glad you had that," he said softly.

"Yeah, me too, she's pretty fond of you too you know. My whole family is. Believe me if they weren't you would know it. As you get to know each other better, they will show their affection more," I told him and he chuckled. "What?" I asked.

"Well, your aunt sure didn't have any trouble voicing her disapproval of me in the hospital," he said. He had told me about the little confrontation between him and Aunt Ella and so I chuckled with him.

"No, Aunt Ella has never had a problem with expressing her disapproval," I told him.

We chatted about many different things as we drove to the beach and when we arrived we worked together to carry everything and set up out blanket and umbrella. It was lunch time when we got there and so we decided to dive right into Nana's picnic basket. She had made chicken salad sandwiches, potato salad and strawberries with whipped cream. The meal was excellent and the company even better.

After our food had settled, we went for a walk along the beach letting the water ebb and flow over our bare feet. We picked up shells and colorful pieces of glass that we found along the way to take back with us as reminders of our day. We splashed and soaked each other in the surf and then went back to our blanket to sit and dry. We sat and watched the sunset over the ocean before we finally decided to call it a day and go home.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

The next several months passed in easy routine. Horatio moved more of his things to our family home and I went back to work. My injuries continued to heal and soon the bruises faded leaving no physical sign of my attack behind.

Hagen was sentenced to twenty-five years in prison for each count of rape the prosecutor had filed against him and because of the severity of his attacks, he had beaten both of us to the point of a hospital stay, he had no possibility of parole.

As the weeks passed and my injuries faded, I began to feel normal again. Horatio's patient and gentle loving had helped me make progress in our intimate relationship, but I still had not been able to let him make love to me. I desperately hoped it wouldn't be long before I would be able to give myself to him completely.

One morning, a little over three months after the attack, the alarm went off for us to get up for work and when I sat up a wave of nausea came over me. I just barely made it to the bathroom before I emptied the contents of my stomach.

"You okay?" Horatio's gentle voice asked as he gathered my hair and held it back away from my face.

"I feel really sick to my stomach," I told him. "I must have picked up a stomach bug somewhere."

He dampened a wash cloth for me, helped me rinse my mouth and then helped me back to bed.

"You stay home and rest today," he said kissing me gently on the forehead. "I'll let Nana know you're not going to work because you aren't feeling well," he said.

I didn't argue and he left the room to get breakfast himself before going to work. I closed my eyes and tried to will the nausea away, but I had to make another dash for the bathroom when the smells from the kitchen drifted in. I had just managed to drag myself back into bed when Nana came through the door carrying a tray.

"Horatio told me you weren't feeling well little feather," Nana said as she entered the room her eyes full of love and concern.

"I'll be okay Nana I probably just picked up a stomach bug somewhere. Hopefully it will only be a twenty four hour thing," I told her not wanting her to worry.

"I'm afraid it may be more than that little feather," Nana said. "I brought you some raspberry tea and that should help with the nausea."

"Nana what are you talking about, what do you mean it may be more than a stomach bug?" I asked puzzled at her words.

"Ahh little feather, I have been seeing the signs for weeks now. Tell me something Alexia, have you had your monthly's since the attack," Nana replied.

Her words left me completely dumb struck. I hadn't really paid attention or thought about it until now, but Nana was right, I had not had a period since the attack.

"Oh my god Nana, I could be pregnant," I said my voice barely above a whisper.

"I believe you are little feather. Your bout of sickness this morning only makes me believe it more. You should see a doctor as soon as possible to be sure."

"I will Nana. I…I don't want to tell Horatio until I'm sure Nana. I don't want to upset him unless I have to."

"I will not say anything little feather, but you will have to tell him. He is as much a part of all this as you are."

"I know and I will tell him, but Nana if I am pregnant, the baby is not Horatio's, we haven't…" my voice trailed off and I hung my head ashamed that Nana now knew that I hadn't been able to give all of myself to my bond mate.

"Everything will be fine little feather," Nana said caressing my face lovingly. "Now drink your tea and then call the doctor," she told me and left the room.

I couldn't believe this was happening. I was finally happy again and now I had to face the possibility that I was carrying my rapist's child. If I were pregnant, I would keep the child of that I had no doubt. It was not the child's fault it had been conceived in violence. The child would be loved and raised properly, my fear was not dealing with an unexpected pregnancy, my fear was of losing Horatio because of it. Would this be the one thing that sent him over the edge? He had been so kind and patient so far, letting me heal both physically and emotionally from my rape. However, there was only so much any man could take and I was terrified that this could possibly be it for Horatio.

I was able to get in to see Dr. Smith that afternoon before Horatio was due home from work. Dr. Smith confirmed what my grandmother had already suspected. I was fourteen weeks pregnant with John Hagen's child. Now I faced the daunting task of telling Horatio and taking the risk of possibly losing him forever.

**Author's Note: Well this story is winding down. I think I will have about two more chapters and an epilogue. I have really enjoyed writing this story and getting your reviews.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

Horatio was tired that night when he got home from work. It had been a long day at the lab and he had been worried about Lexi all day. He had called her a couple of times during the day and she had reassured him she was doing okay, but he could hear the stress in her voice. Nana was in the living room when he got home, so he went over and gave the family matriarch a kiss on the cheek

"Hey Nana, is Lexi feeling any better?" Horatio asked as he loosened his tie and slid it off.

"She's a little better. She was able to keep some soup down at lunch. She's lying down right now. How are you young man, you look tired."

"I'm all right, it's just been a really long day and I have been worried about Lexi. I'm going to go check on her," he told Nana and headed for their bedroom.

Lexi was asleep when he entered the room and he went over and kissed her gently on the forehead.

"Hey," she said opening her eyes and looking up at him.

"Hey sweetheart, I didn't mean to wake you up."

"It's okay, I'm glad you did," she said and Horatio chuckled when she pulled him down for a deep kiss. He lay down beside her and pulled her against him

"How are you feeling sweetheart?" he asked.

"I'm better but I do need to talk to you Horatio," she said and got up from the bed. Horatio saw fear in her eyes before she turned away from him and his concern for her increased.

"Lexi what's wrong?" Horatio asked remaining seated on the bed giving her the space he sensed she needed to tell him what was bothering her. "You can tell me anything, you know that right?" he said.

"I know," she answered and she took a deep breath and turned back to face him. "I went to see Dr. Smith this afternoon and he gave me some news that I'm not exactly sure how to tell you." Now Horatio was really concerned so he got up from the bed and went over to her.

"Lexi, whatever it is, we'll deal with it together. I love you and I'll be here no matter what," he told her wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close.

"I'm pregnant Horatio," she said burying her face in his shoulder.

For several moments Horatio was too stunned to say anything. Now he understood the fear he had seen in Lexi's eyes.

"It's going to be okay Lexi," he said hugging her closer.

"I can't believe this is happening. We've been so happy and I was finally beginning to feel normal again," she said against his shoulder.

"We have a baby on the way Lexi, we should be happy about that," he told her and lifted her chin so she would look at him.

"But Horatio the baby isn't…" she started but he stopped her before she could finish by putting a finger over her lips.

"Lexi, this baby is ours. It may not be mine by blood, but you and I will raise it as though it were. It will be my name on the birth certificate and it will be me who does all the things a father does for a child," he told her.

"You mean you're not angry?" she asked and Horatio hated the uncertainty he could hear in her voice.

"Angry? Why would I be angry?" he asked her.

"I'm carrying another man's child, how can you even stand to look at me?" she whispered and lowered her gaze once more. Once again he raised her chin so she would look at him.

"Sweetheart this baby is yours and all I see when I look at you is the woman I love and would do anything for. I know that if you'd had a choice this baby would be mine. However, there is more to being a father than simply contributing genetic material to create a child. We are going to give this child a good, solid, stable and loving home and hopefully one day brothers and sisters," he told her and kissed her softly. She wrapped her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss.

"Oh Horatio, I was so afraid that when I told you I would lose you forever. I'm sorry I'm still so unsure about things."

"Lexi, I'm here to stay sweetheart, I'm not going anywhere. I love you and I will love the new life you are carrying inside of you," he said laying his hand against her stomach.

"I love you so much Horatio," she answered and kissed him again. They held each other tight for several long minutes lost in each other.

"Dinner is ready," Daniel called from the living room bringing them out of their little world and back into reality.

"Do you feel like maybe you could eat something," Horatio asked even more concerned now that she hadn't eaten much all day.

"I think maybe I can, the nausea has been pretty well gone all afternoon and Nana has been making me sip raspberry tea all day. She says it will help calm the morning sickness and help me keep down food," she answered him.

"Well God bless Nana then," he said with a smile and we went to the dining room to eat with the rest of the family.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

**Author's Note: Okay folks this is a warning, this chapter is why I put an M rating on this story because I thought it would go this way, so be warned M rating warrented in this chapter**

I couldn't wait for dinner to be over that night. All I wanted was to be alone with Horatio. I couldn't believe how lucky I was to have found such a wonderful man to share my life with. I had been terrified that when I told him about the baby, he would leave me forever, so it had been absolute bliss when he had accepted the responsibility of being a father to my baby. It was what I had hoped would happen, but had been terribly afraid would not. After dinner was over, I took Horatio's hand and led him back to our bedroom not saying a word to anyone.

"Are you okay Lexi?" he asked as our bedroom door shut behind us.

"I'm fine Horatio, I just need to be alone with you for a while. You are such a generous man and I love you so much."

"I love you too Lexi," he replied and before he could say any more I kissed him. I tried to put into that kiss all the joy and appreciation and love I felt for him.

"Make love to me Horatio," I whispered when the need for air forced us to pull apart.

"Are you sure Lexi?"

"I am absolutely sure Horatio, I don't want to wait any longer," I answered.

Slowly he began to undress me, his mouth trailing along every inch of skin he revealed. His touch had always sent shockwaves through me, but tonight something was different, tonight every touch was pure heaven, my every nerve ending crying out for more of his touch.

When he took a nipple into his mouth and began to bathe it with his tongue, I buried my hands in his hair and pulled him even closer. He lavished attention on both nipples and soon my legs wouldn't hold me upright anymore and I collapsed onto our bed.

Horatio hesitated at this point and I knew he didn't want to scare me, but I knew that tonight I would be able to give myself to him completely. I held my arms open to him and after searching my eyes, he followed me onto the bed bracing himself above me.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine," I answered and I was. His weight above me did not make me feel trapped, it made me feel wanted and needed and safe.

At some point before I had collapsed onto the bed, we had removed all of our clothes, so as we lay there, Horatio letting me set the pace, I realized we were bare skin to bare skin and it felt wonderful.

"You are so beautiful sweetheart," Horatio whispered nibbling at my ear and moving his hand across my belly.

I shivered in pleasure at this most intimate touch and gasped out loud when he moved his hand lower and cupped my mound. Looking into my eyes to make sure I was still okay and still with him, he parted my folds and began to make slow, gentle circles against my clit with his fingers. I arched my back in pleasure seeking more friction.

"Easy sweetheart, easy, we have all night," he soothed and covered my mouth with his as he continued his ministrations.

Pressing his thumb against my clit, he thrust two fingers inside of me and my orgasm hit like a tidal wave, taking me by surprise and making me writhe beneath him. He continued gently with his fingers until I came down from my high.

I whimpered when he withdrew his hand, but my pleasure soared in the next instant. Horatio shifted slightly and with one swift stroke, he buried himself deep inside of me. There was a slight moment of discomfort as he entered me, but he stilled and let me adjust to him and it was gone as quickly as it came and all that remained was the joyous pleasure of his throbbing erection making me feel whole and complete.

"Look at me Lexi," he demanded and only then did I realize that I had closed my eyes. I opened my eyes and I could see the unspoken question in his deep blue eyes. He was waiting for a sign from me that I was ready for him to move.

"Take me Horatio, make me yours completely," I told him, reaching up and running my fingers through his hair.

His thrusts were slow and gentle at first, but as passion and desire took us both over, he began to slam into me fast and hard. Instinctively, I met him thrust for thrust, crying out his name when a second orgasm washed over me. He slowed his pace as my inner muscles clamped around him.

"I love you so much," he whispered in my ear as my second climax subsided and he increased his pace once more.

"I love you too," I gasped reveling at the feel of his body surrounding and filling mine and I felt another climax start to build inside of me.

Horatio entwined our fingers together and raised them above my head. His gaze locked with mine and he changed the angle of his thrusts slightly. Stars exploded in front of my eyes at his first stroke at this new angle and we climaxed together as his warmth spilled deep inside me.

Horatio buried his head in my neck as the spasms of his release trembled through him. I wrapped my arms and legs around him and held him close until he was ready to move.

"I should move," he whispered his lips brushing against my neck making me shiver with pleasure.

"Only if you really want to," I answered.

"I don't want to hurt you," he responded.

"You're not hurting me Horatio, I feel wonderful, I would love to stay with you like this forever."

He raised his head so he could look into my eyes. He shifted slightly and I gasped in pleasure as I realized he had grown hard again. I let my legs drop from around his waist so he would be free to move and he began to thrust. He held my gaze and would not let me close my eyes as we moved together.

My climax this time was swift and even more intense that the others had been. I screamed his name as my orgasm hit me and with one more powerful and very deep thrust, he exploded deep inside me calling my name as well. This time he moved to lie beside me and pulled me tight against him.

"That was amazing," I whispered to him. "I wish I hadn't waited so long to be with you like this. I am so sorry it took me so long to allow us this closeness."

"Lexi, you are an amazing woman and you have nothing to apologize for. You had a lot to work through and I was happy to give you the time you needed to do so," he said kissing me softly.

"I love feeling so close to you Horatio and I promise you I will never deny either of us this closeness again," I vowed to him.

"I love you Lexi and I am glad you finally feel comfortable enough to share your body with me. I promise you that you will always have a choice and if you ever want me to stop all you have to do is ask. I would never do anything to hurt you or scare you."

"I know and I love you more because you have been so patient and given me the time I needed," I replied and snuggled as close to him as I could get without our bodies being joined. It wasn't long before we were both fast asleep and dreaming of our future.


	19. Epilogue

**EPILOGUE**

"Laelah Rose Caine you get back here and apologize to Nana for running over her toes like that," I called out to my three-year old daughter as she ran past chasing after the puppy she had gotten for her last birthday.

"I sorry Nana," the little imp blurted out as she ran back to us the squirming puppy in her arms.

"It's all right little one, just be more careful of Nana's poor old toes," Nana told her giving the mischievous little girl a kiss on her chubby cheek.

"Kay Nana. Mama when Daddy be home?" she asked.

"He'll be home soon honey, he called just a little while ago and said he was on his way. You go play in the sand box with your puppy and Daddy will be home before you know it," I told her and she took off like a shot her dark eyes shining and her wavy black hair flying out behind her like a cape.

Laelah got impatient every day for the return of her beloved father. She adored Horatio and he adored her. Since Laelah was born, Horatio had cut way down on his hours at the lab and tried to be home at the same time every day to spend time with his precious little girl. My heart filled to overflowing every time I saw my husband and our daughter together. He was an amazing father and Laelah was a very special little girl. In spite of how she had been conceived, Laelah was a very compassionate and generous little girl who loved to help others.

As I sat and watched Laelah play, I became aware of Horatio's presence behind me an instant before he leaned in and kissed me on the cheek.

"How are two of the most beautiful ladies in Florida doing this afternoon," he asked and kissed Nana as well.

"We're enjoying the sunshine," I answered and smiled up at him.

"Speaking of sunshine, how's my boy doing?" he asked and leaned down and kissed the infant I held on the top of the head and then smoothed his hand over the baby's downy cap of red hair.

Brian Eric Caine was six weeks old and the spitting image of his father. Horatio wouldn't have been able to deny Brian was his even if he had wanted to. The boy was a much loved addition to our happy family and Horatio and I both had been thrilled when we found out he was on the way.

I had gone back to work after Laelah was born, but after several long talks snuggled up together in our bed, I had decided I would take a sabbatical from the lab and raise our children.

"He's doing great,' I answered Horatio's question. "But there is a little ball of fire over there that is anxious to see her Daddy," I told him.

"Well, her Daddy is anxious to see her," he replied and after leaning in and giving me a proper hello kiss, he went to spend quality time with our daughter.

"You've got yourself a great man there little feather," Nana said smiling at me.

"Yes I do Nana. I don't know what I would do without him. Aside from the children, he is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I don't know if I would have ever gotten over my rape if he hadn't been there for me. He was and still is my rock and my safe haven."

As I watched Horatio play with Laelah, I thanked the creator that he had sent this man and these children into my life. We had encountered some bumps along the way and I had no doubt that we would encounter more in the future, but we had gotten each other over every one and I knew as long as we had each other nothing in this world would be able to keep us down for long.

FINIS

**Author's Note: Well folks that's it for this story. I don't know if I will write any more, this idea got lodged in my head and wouldn't leave me alone until I got it all written out. I appreciate everyone who has been reading and I thank you for sticking in there with me to the end. If you are a lurker out there and have read this story but haven't commented, please leave a review I love hearing from readers.**

**If anybody has any suggestion where else I might post this story for others to enjoy let me know.**


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